Baby Alive
Do you remember when you were a little kid and there was a toy that you wanted more than breathing?
It's Christmas, 1975. I'm four years old and my mom, her boyfriend Gary and I are living in a farm outside of Crete. The woodburning stove is pumping out smoke that I have become accustomed to. I don't recall any fighting, for once, and things seem peaceful and happy.
I wake up and it's early. the woodburning stove is out. i'm cold. i go to wake up my mom, but gary has cut her head off. i shake her awake, and she's fine. she had her head covered with a pillow. she's sleeping on the couch.
I am petting the dog. I think he's a black lab. The lights in the house are on; all of them. Gary, for once, doesn't seem drunk to me. Mom is walking around. She's cool. Long red hair. Smoking. I think she's the neatest thing.
mom and I come home from somewhere. gary is lying on the floor, dead. mom kicks at him, exasperated. "get up." he moans and flips over onto his back. there's blood. i'm crying.
The night is so clear...I expect to see Santa and his reindeer in the front yard. The stars are so bright and the air is so crisp. The expectation of Santa coming is killing me. God. i want that baby alive.
Baby Alive is the "it" toy of the year. She can eat! She can sleep! She can wet! You feed her food, and it poops out the hole in her bottom section! She drinks and pees!! I have got to have her! She has a blonde afro!!!
angie, what is that sound? is it santa's reindeer? i run to the front door. i look around at the stars. something is making noise in the background. a coyote? it is sooooo cold outside, yet clear. i could scream and it would carry for miles...miles...miles...miles...
I come back into the living room. "Santa came, Angie! He was here!" Gary is running around joyfully. "Oh my God! Look to see if he left you any presents!"
I didn't know which way to run first! Santa had come!! He had been here! I was outside, and he was inside and I hope he brought presents and why didn't the dog bark and why isn't Gary durnk and why is my mom smiling and where do I look first and I hope he brought the Baby Alive Doll and i will play with her until I die and what else did he bring me i've been a good girl and i need...i need...i need...
I don't know which way to turn first. It's apparent that Santa Claus has been here. The dog is looking at me. My mom is looking at me. Gary is looking at me. "Find your presents, Angie!"
I run around, looking for my presents. I wish I could elaborate on what I got, but the fact is, I remember only one thing. BABY ALIVE. I think she was hidden behind the couch/chair where the dog slept. I don't recall anything being wrapped. I think things were just sittin' there. She had a pink box and a blonde afro....She could eat, she can sleep!!!!
Gary is feeding Baby Alive. (he is sitting on the rocking chair my dad gave me. my dad. i still have it. it's in my garage. one of the last ties.) gary is pretending to be mad because Baby alive has pooped on him. A yellowish, seedy poop that means her pre-packaged food went down the tube from her neck into her butt. Gross.
We're laughing. Baby Alive has pooped on Gary Barrett....He acts like he's mad, but he isn't.
i find out later that gary held mom down and held a cigar to her neck. i find out later that gary tried to run my mom and brother over when mom jumped out the truck with bob, who was only 6 weeks old. i find out later that Gary strangled mom into the point of her passing out. that's just what i find out. i don't know what i didn't find out.
Later, on December 25th, we run. We run from the drunkeness. I grab my Baby Alive with the afro and the seedy poop. I grab my Raggedy Ann and Andy book (I still have it. 30 years later.) I run. I run with my mom to leave Gary Barrett. I still have the rocking chair that he sat on and broke at one time.
I ask my mom, years later, how they did Christmas that time. She said they just put stuff out when I was looking outside for Santa. I don't believe it. Santa was there that night. He brought me Baby Alive with the afro and the seedy yellow poop. He brought me the Raggedy Ann and Andy book. He brought me something with snoopy on it that I showed everyone the next day, after we ran. Don't recall what it was, just that it had Snoopy on it. A lunch box? Could be.
Santa protected me from Gary. I don't know how he did it and it doesn't matter now. Gary was schizophrenic and an alcoholic and an abuser. I didn't know if he was going to kill my mom or my 1/2 brother (his son), but I did know that Baby Alive pooped on him and he laughed.
I wonder if he remembered that when he died of cirrosis of liver. It's 1994. Gary Barrett is dead, in a hotel room. I wonder if he remembers Baby Alive.
It's Christmas, 1975. I'm four years old and my mom, her boyfriend Gary and I are living in a farm outside of Crete. The woodburning stove is pumping out smoke that I have become accustomed to. I don't recall any fighting, for once, and things seem peaceful and happy.
I wake up and it's early. the woodburning stove is out. i'm cold. i go to wake up my mom, but gary has cut her head off. i shake her awake, and she's fine. she had her head covered with a pillow. she's sleeping on the couch.
I am petting the dog. I think he's a black lab. The lights in the house are on; all of them. Gary, for once, doesn't seem drunk to me. Mom is walking around. She's cool. Long red hair. Smoking. I think she's the neatest thing.
mom and I come home from somewhere. gary is lying on the floor, dead. mom kicks at him, exasperated. "get up." he moans and flips over onto his back. there's blood. i'm crying.
The night is so clear...I expect to see Santa and his reindeer in the front yard. The stars are so bright and the air is so crisp. The expectation of Santa coming is killing me. God. i want that baby alive.
Baby Alive is the "it" toy of the year. She can eat! She can sleep! She can wet! You feed her food, and it poops out the hole in her bottom section! She drinks and pees!! I have got to have her! She has a blonde afro!!!
angie, what is that sound? is it santa's reindeer? i run to the front door. i look around at the stars. something is making noise in the background. a coyote? it is sooooo cold outside, yet clear. i could scream and it would carry for miles...miles...miles...miles...
I come back into the living room. "Santa came, Angie! He was here!" Gary is running around joyfully. "Oh my God! Look to see if he left you any presents!"
I didn't know which way to run first! Santa had come!! He had been here! I was outside, and he was inside and I hope he brought presents and why didn't the dog bark and why isn't Gary durnk and why is my mom smiling and where do I look first and I hope he brought the Baby Alive Doll and i will play with her until I die and what else did he bring me i've been a good girl and i need...i need...i need...
I don't know which way to turn first. It's apparent that Santa Claus has been here. The dog is looking at me. My mom is looking at me. Gary is looking at me. "Find your presents, Angie!"
I run around, looking for my presents. I wish I could elaborate on what I got, but the fact is, I remember only one thing. BABY ALIVE. I think she was hidden behind the couch/chair where the dog slept. I don't recall anything being wrapped. I think things were just sittin' there. She had a pink box and a blonde afro....She could eat, she can sleep!!!!
Gary is feeding Baby Alive. (he is sitting on the rocking chair my dad gave me. my dad. i still have it. it's in my garage. one of the last ties.) gary is pretending to be mad because Baby alive has pooped on him. A yellowish, seedy poop that means her pre-packaged food went down the tube from her neck into her butt. Gross.
We're laughing. Baby Alive has pooped on Gary Barrett....He acts like he's mad, but he isn't.
i find out later that gary held mom down and held a cigar to her neck. i find out later that gary tried to run my mom and brother over when mom jumped out the truck with bob, who was only 6 weeks old. i find out later that Gary strangled mom into the point of her passing out. that's just what i find out. i don't know what i didn't find out.
Later, on December 25th, we run. We run from the drunkeness. I grab my Baby Alive with the afro and the seedy poop. I grab my Raggedy Ann and Andy book (I still have it. 30 years later.) I run. I run with my mom to leave Gary Barrett. I still have the rocking chair that he sat on and broke at one time.
I ask my mom, years later, how they did Christmas that time. She said they just put stuff out when I was looking outside for Santa. I don't believe it. Santa was there that night. He brought me Baby Alive with the afro and the seedy yellow poop. He brought me the Raggedy Ann and Andy book. He brought me something with snoopy on it that I showed everyone the next day, after we ran. Don't recall what it was, just that it had Snoopy on it. A lunch box? Could be.
Santa protected me from Gary. I don't know how he did it and it doesn't matter now. Gary was schizophrenic and an alcoholic and an abuser. I didn't know if he was going to kill my mom or my 1/2 brother (his son), but I did know that Baby Alive pooped on him and he laughed.
I wonder if he remembered that when he died of cirrosis of liver. It's 1994. Gary Barrett is dead, in a hotel room. I wonder if he remembers Baby Alive.
posted by Nebraska Angie @ 7:52 PM
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