Don't worry...I'm an idiot, too.
A few minutes ago, I got thinking about the many stupid things I have done in my life. Lucky for me, it was hard to pinpoint just a few of them, so I sat down and really thought about it. Do you ever sit and wonder if you have done the stupidest thing in all of mankind? Don't worry. I have done that. Not sat and wondered, but actually DONE the stupidest thing in all mankind.
My 20s were interesting. And, hell, why lie? They were fun. I subsided on too many cigarettes, too many beers, and too many boys. It was my time to discover me. And what I discovered was I was an alcoholic, nicotine addicted, slightly promiscuous, independent woman. The funny thing is, that didn't bother me at the time. I knew it and didn't care. I paid my taxes, held my job, put gas in my car and food on my table (not to mention beer in my fridge), and even visited my grandparents, so who cared if on the evenings and weekends, I lived it up? I must have had some sort of wiles, because I dated the best of the best. (enter dream sequence)...Man....let me tell you. In another blog, at another time. (Sometimes I feel like reminiscing about that part of my life that is so long gone and so never to be seen again. ) One time I left my younger sister open-mouthed in surprise when I let it slip that I had had eight dates with eight different men in seven days. Now, before you get all sanctimonious on me, let me just state for the record that I didn't sleep with ANY of them. I said slightly promiscuous, not Jerry Springer.
That's another story, though. I didn't sleep with everyone. I just liked to meet different people, and get an idea of who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. So I dated a broad gamut of guys, from a fireman 12 years my senior, to a kid fresh out of high school who was two years younger than me, and at 17, probably illegal or something. I was hard to get enough to garner flower deliveries to work and home, yet accessible enough to garner the invitations to the street dance, the movies, dinner, the races, prom (yes, Prom), and to meet the parents. Some guys were braver than others. It took one guy four years to ask me out, another to say, after hanging out with him for one night, "So, I'm spending the night at your house, right?" (Shout out to you, Dan. You had balls. I just never let you show them to me.) I turned heads and didn't mean to. I was one of the guys until life went beyond Tabor Hall and drinking games. Sometimes when my guy friends realized I was a girl, they quit me. That hurt sometimes. It hurt a lot of times.
But I was careful. Pregnancy was my biggest fear at the time. I couldn't imagine having a baby at that time in my life, so I was very careful that it didn't happen. One time we were discussing birth control at work and I said that I used everything. Gels, creams, condoms, the Pill, everything. My friend said that she thought all women did that until they found one method they liked better. I said, no, I tried them ALL AT ONCE. I couldn't run the risk of getting pregnant! Yikes! At least I had the brains to know I was no where close to ready. Some don't have that luxury, or an accident happens. I was making damn sure those swimmers went nowhere!
But, thank God for me, that portion of my life ended. I met someone, married, gave up smoking, had a daughter, and quit drinking. Now, I'll have a beer once in awhile, but I went five years without so much as a drop of liquor, except for the occasional cold medicine. Yay me. Big freakin' deal. Truly, I don't think I could have survived a lifetime living like I did from the ages of 18 to 24. If I would have survived, I would have been an old, used-up barfly who spends her off time face down on the bar, drowning her sorrows in the pitcher of cheap beer the guy with the extreme pit stains just bought her in hopes she'll go home with him. Not a pretty sight, huh? Wiles right out the window. Knowing I'll never belong to either that life or the one I actually had those many years ago allows me the license to reminisce without fear or embarrassment. As the old S.E. Hinton book's title says, "That was Then, This is Now." I love now. But, I also had a lot of fun then. That makes it all okay.
My 20s were interesting. And, hell, why lie? They were fun. I subsided on too many cigarettes, too many beers, and too many boys. It was my time to discover me. And what I discovered was I was an alcoholic, nicotine addicted, slightly promiscuous, independent woman. The funny thing is, that didn't bother me at the time. I knew it and didn't care. I paid my taxes, held my job, put gas in my car and food on my table (not to mention beer in my fridge), and even visited my grandparents, so who cared if on the evenings and weekends, I lived it up? I must have had some sort of wiles, because I dated the best of the best. (enter dream sequence)...Man....let me tell you. In another blog, at another time. (Sometimes I feel like reminiscing about that part of my life that is so long gone and so never to be seen again. ) One time I left my younger sister open-mouthed in surprise when I let it slip that I had had eight dates with eight different men in seven days. Now, before you get all sanctimonious on me, let me just state for the record that I didn't sleep with ANY of them. I said slightly promiscuous, not Jerry Springer.
That's another story, though. I didn't sleep with everyone. I just liked to meet different people, and get an idea of who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. So I dated a broad gamut of guys, from a fireman 12 years my senior, to a kid fresh out of high school who was two years younger than me, and at 17, probably illegal or something. I was hard to get enough to garner flower deliveries to work and home, yet accessible enough to garner the invitations to the street dance, the movies, dinner, the races, prom (yes, Prom), and to meet the parents. Some guys were braver than others. It took one guy four years to ask me out, another to say, after hanging out with him for one night, "So, I'm spending the night at your house, right?" (Shout out to you, Dan. You had balls. I just never let you show them to me.) I turned heads and didn't mean to. I was one of the guys until life went beyond Tabor Hall and drinking games. Sometimes when my guy friends realized I was a girl, they quit me. That hurt sometimes. It hurt a lot of times.
But I was careful. Pregnancy was my biggest fear at the time. I couldn't imagine having a baby at that time in my life, so I was very careful that it didn't happen. One time we were discussing birth control at work and I said that I used everything. Gels, creams, condoms, the Pill, everything. My friend said that she thought all women did that until they found one method they liked better. I said, no, I tried them ALL AT ONCE. I couldn't run the risk of getting pregnant! Yikes! At least I had the brains to know I was no where close to ready. Some don't have that luxury, or an accident happens. I was making damn sure those swimmers went nowhere!
But, thank God for me, that portion of my life ended. I met someone, married, gave up smoking, had a daughter, and quit drinking. Now, I'll have a beer once in awhile, but I went five years without so much as a drop of liquor, except for the occasional cold medicine. Yay me. Big freakin' deal. Truly, I don't think I could have survived a lifetime living like I did from the ages of 18 to 24. If I would have survived, I would have been an old, used-up barfly who spends her off time face down on the bar, drowning her sorrows in the pitcher of cheap beer the guy with the extreme pit stains just bought her in hopes she'll go home with him. Not a pretty sight, huh? Wiles right out the window. Knowing I'll never belong to either that life or the one I actually had those many years ago allows me the license to reminisce without fear or embarrassment. As the old S.E. Hinton book's title says, "That was Then, This is Now." I love now. But, I also had a lot of fun then. That makes it all okay.
posted by Nebraska Angie @ 9:55 PM
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